A Monologue: "Are We There Yet?"

December 4, 2019

I will once again embrace my laughter, knowing that there are people who have went to annihilate me from the ground up. As in again have watched something on television and at point blank ranges noticed I am the "winner" by something they can see me wearing before a competition even begins. Many people experience this. Women and girls who experience this however often begin to appear as being on stage because of what a person points out before an interaction occurs. It is almost like placing them on a runway and having to exist in the space where people are responding to what they wanted to "hide" and the person cannot see it. There are also people not noticing when they are doing things that are premeditated. As in if you are aiming to have a conflict with someone and the space is provided a real person in conflict is not going to wait for the person to finish doing whatever they are doing at the moment, especially because it looks like something positive. As in, yes I want to argue with this person, but I am going to wait until she finishes writing poetry. Then when the person becomes aware they become in shock that they will address them in the moment regardless of what they are doing, like a person in actual conflict would. I actually have a affect from what causes this of knowing when someone has made a problem choice in who or what they targeted and realized when it comes from copying something overheard or from television. There are guys who cause women and girls to fight with other women because they are pursuing them in a relationship because of perceived status, access and ability. You may think you are moving up the "food chain" and be concerned when a person you help in high regards is in the type of relationship with you where they have agreed to even rob people or live with you homeless because of the love, care and attention you gave to them when they cannot understand what you went to pursue. The worst is when this is done to vulnerable wives and girlfriends by guys who can see them "inside" of their patterns life. The person at their "center" essentially does not come with these items or access. That is a dangerous type of person to commit to because you cannot see that they are essentially leaving from the relationship for YOU and what they are experiencing as a state of euphoria. Generations of people who cannot see that there are people who grew up all the way into adulthood with little to no screen time can cause great emotional harm and damage to people and communities. I will never take back the days I get manicures and pedicures with clear polish and no I will not respond to arguments with girlfriends and wives who left relationships that had a stable structure provided around them to be with guys who targeted them for those very things. I'm just over here being a person living out a life of a little woman who looked through a glass window and went forward on her journey until hearts touched. I have no plans of cutting off eye contact and eye rolls and deep breathes about the potential of a loving rinse, turning into a drowning. I have had to learn that what I am doing is still good and positive, even when someone messes up and is supporting something else in my face or behind my back. Especially people I look up to or learn with. I don't get flaky, I just double check to make sure that what I'm seeing is not me being in correct in the area of 1+1=2. Not the part when I put lufa plus body wash equals sensual shower experiences.I make these corrections when I see someone I would want to give a lufa to declining cleaning their body in the obvious but not so obvious scenario. As long as what has not changed is the x+y=z, I move forward with what I was doing in the first place. I also know that the person preferring to use their hand over a lufa still has the correct answer when cleaning your body is where the z is. Some people do not notice when there opinion is like what flavor ice cream taste better. I get a little confused by commentary that comes from people who do not realize that some lief occurrences are about reproduction, the parts that are occurring that I do not control or that are natural. The wars, fights and things that happened or where going to happen before I go here. Before I was born grade school ends in 12th grade. I do no argue about that. I'm like let me remember everything that was there and what I learned. One of the most important things is that everyone is not taking the same class at the same time and not everyone will take a class that you took. People also make mistakes that are not for you to have to correct. Some of what I go through is trying not to laugh in public because of trying to do justice or something and knowing I could lose my snack mula. I also know that the security guard I had a crush on in high school is someone I love in the school building and not to try to mess up his home life. Some people messed up on that part. I play a game like "ok, so if we get stuck in this space this is who it's gone be". I do not get to connected when the space is gone and have no qualms about what will be happening later or who or what I will spend the rest of my life with or doing once I am into the great "outdoors" or whatever they call it. There are women and girls crying from the support they received in deception. Women and girls who cut themselves off from the women and girls who would actually help and support them if they had not responded to the deception in a way that isolated them. I am in shock like, whoa why am I getting fought at about pink, glitter and journals, especially when I am a poet and writer.Some people have put their lives in so much danger that teaching me about surviving in isolation is the apology and a way to keep me out of the danger the initiated slightly unknowingly. It is because I can see relationships on television that I almost give up my life and all the things I should and actually want to do and develop. I'm like almost giving up going to my writers groups because I want to write naked on my mans bed with fluffy pillows. What is so bad or perverted about wanting to write naked in heels? I think nothing. I think there is a funny secret about people who attend "all white parties". Well some people at least. That is why it is important to pay attention to what we theme and "copy". I got into a fight one time with a guy who did not realize he was somebodies boyfriend. In this generation there really are too many sex scenes on television. Oh yeah and scenes about dating or going out to eat. I do those things. Someone wishes it was a big joke or not real. I'm really on at practically no actual technology consumption or without purpose. I would not like to argue about my purse. This is my actual purse. There are people who are in public showing they would prefer to ignore skill and the work they do to get an item. I love the work I do and just happen to have an item. Yes, I would advocate to be an intern with a fuzzy pink pen. Things turn or stay drab when it is time for the organizational composition of those things because people begin to expose themselves for not really being interested in the work. Someone wants me to quit this website thing and I'm like never. There is a professional request. By design though, it's totally me doing my thing. And the person who definitely gave the comment has a professional title in my life but if she was starving and all I had was a piece of cornbread, I would find her in the middle of a dark alley and give her half. I guess when "realness" is defined in DOING as in more than words, but coupled with lip service some people just can't handle it. I'm happy when all the people get exposed for whatever it is they didn't like doing, especially when they used the correct directives. That means at the basic layer the results should be there and the people who care can always fix the rest. I do what I am doing always and regardless. I never make myself responsible for having a bruise that came from leaving the birth canal. Some people have used mirrors and all the metaphorical mirrors to do something about their bruises from the birth canal that are already begin handled, already tended to, or already more than beautiful in the space they have been showcased. There are people who I love, mistaking themselves for my funders and investors. Or not realizing that commenting or going against what I am doing is only going to make them null and void to me and those who are investing. Sometimes people learn to support after the fact. I'm all about the aftermath, as in still being alive and well. I don't need a list of people who would wear a t-shirt with my face on it. I'm just like, I hope he knows what I communicated. 

 

 

 

 

Please reload

December 6, 2019

December 6, 2019

December 6, 2019

December 6, 2019

December 6, 2019

December 5, 2019

December 5, 2019

December 5, 2019

December 5, 2019

December 5, 2019

December 5, 2019

December 5, 2019

Please reload

Archive