Restoring Taking Accountability & What That Means For Every Individual.

December 3, 2019

 

I learned a very important lesson. As a person who takes accountability there are people who I have realized will not. They will constantly want to make you responsible for things that they should actually have a lesson or word of wisdom about to give to you. I often joke in my life about people who argue in groups with the wrong answer, after the correct one has been given. To make matters worse, other group members will participate and go along with the incorrect answer. I also have had an experience where people have chosen, during a restorative process, to recede when I have chosen to utilize this opportunity. I know there are people who would like to say to me, if everyone besides you had to experience a consequence for something they have participated in, I will now recognize that the best thing to do for me is only stay involved with who was not receiving a consequence. Even if that means only myself in this scenario. It is important to no longer engage with them because essentially there will be damage or resolve that you do not need to waste time participating in. Knowing the concept of restorative justice and putting that into practice in that moment can appear as agreement, fear or participation. A person may not understand that you are understanding what it means to restore and literally be in the middle of choosing to continue the problem behavior. There are also people who have not comprehended what architecture and buildings or spaces with instruction are for. I have conceded that people who choose to not use the space to gain their proper strength and access will weaken me or cause e to use energy that will make me appear drained in the proper locations I want to participate in. There also becomes a problem component with identity. Imagine being in a "group home" and some participants throw a party when they should be sleep and keep appearing as if this is the "fly party" that is downtown on the weekends to celebrate what was accomplished within the week. Individuals who do this may try to connect with people who are party goers and aim to associate the behavior as the same and fail to see that it is not. Especially if they frequently watch dance parties on television. I have learned to create a strong boundary and separation because some people may begin to exist in a particular dynamic without receiving the wording and a continued consequence that I should or would not want to be in the area for. Not separating completely can cause me to appear delinquent, illiterate, without funds, unclean or unhealthy. As a person who does business, programming and developed a lot during college and volunteering I have had to insert this philosophy into my interactions with people who do not realize that they have yet to meet the criteria or fulfill requirements for businesses and work that they "think" they are doing. Many of them would want to argue. I have learned where I receive funding, they are receiving a "yay" or a space to color for whatever they accomplished. The arguments they often want to start with me is violent. They are sitting with their "yay" stickers, attempting to make fun of me while i write proposals and strengthening areas that may appear weak in my grant writing through strengthening my writing and performance skills over all. Once again prevention is what should be at the forefront. Sometimes when we focus on restoring in the wrong timing, one can restore a virus because they understand their is cough syrup and free flu shots, without the underlying reasoning. I also laugh as a person who expands my mind and overcomes stereotypical thinking about how silly I may look to others when I know to make my own personal jokes about "coming out of a cauldron" and learning for myself what it means to be prepared, groomed and on time. 

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