When "The Coat Is For You"!

November 22, 2019

 

 

 

I recently had a revelation. This especially comes from being social, communicating and having the ability and knowledge of networking. I am really noticing where some of my life headaches stem from. There is a big difference between someone making a purchase for YOU versus someone who is buying your shoes, clothes, coat, even providing cable for the you that is attending school, church or the workplace. In relationships across the board I sometimes have a hard time in conflicts or being able to regroup after suffering through someone’s stereotype. It seems like, after the fact and after knowing labels and name brands aren’t my FOCUS, that I will always have them on or always make that purchase (when it is time to SHOP). As in shopping is an activity and it might take months of planning. In addition to this, my wardrobe that I am expected to function in often is provided in name brand and or showcased when others seem to be in lack or not liking/aware of a particular style. It is hard to understand at first the fact that “I” have a coat. As in if I ever dropped out of school, never went to employment and aimed to sleep in the house all day, the same material items would show up to me. I should not develop a habit of this stopping. There are a lot of people who suffer from actual or fear of abandonment. This interface also makes it hard to understand why it looks like sometimes I am being “rewarded”, when there is a consequence for “others”. I will use the analogy of never being punished for losing hair bows, beads or barrettes as a child. Some of my own personal growth and areas of stability can be triggering to people because when I decide to and learn not to lose my “barrettes” in the first place the behavior I celebrate is something they have been punished into. They may have decided to learn on their own, but are unable to process in that way. I should still celebrate and I encourage people to still celebrate. It is imperative to know, understand and use empathy but that does not mean at the expense of your own smile!

 

 

 

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